Why I Don't Do Elf on the Shelf

We've spent the last few weeks in a whirlwind of holiday awesomeness at our house. We hosted Thanksgiving at our house for the first time, decorated for Christmas, almost finished up our Christmas shopping, and have fully embraced the Holiday Season.

 One thing that is noticeably missing from our home is The Elf on the Shelf. My Facebook feed is filled with friends and neighbors who have already introduced the Elf into their home for his yearly mischievous antics. They gleefully dump rice on their floors, slather their vanities with shaving cream, and set up elaborate displays with the Elf front and center for their children to find each morning.

 

According to the marketing geniuses tradition, The Elf on the Shelf has to have a different adventure each night leading up to Christmas, so for those parents at a loss on how to create unnecessary chaos in their homes, or have thirty extra minutes to fill after your little goes off to bed (is this a real thing?!), there are thousands of Pins on Pinterest dedicated to ideas for Elf on the Shelf mischief. Thousands. I don't know about you, but I don't need an Elf on the Shelf to create chaos in my home. We do just fine on our own.

In addition to creating more work for yourself (who wants to sweep up rice or scrub off dried shaving cream?!) the Elf of the Shelf is just plain creepy looking. Seriously, couldn't the marketing machine produce something a little more cuddly and sweet looking? I wouldn't want to think about a creepy little Elf sneaking around my house at night while I'm in bed. That's nightmare fuel right there.

I did see that they are attempting the "tradition" to include a Reindeer Elf Pet, but it is associated with the Elf and so it still registers on my creepy scale.

 

 

If you happen to be one of the parents who just can't get their fill of their creeptastic Elf and his antics in December, worry not, you can purchase a special birthday outfit and bring him back out to taunt your child their entire birth month.

 



 

To those who welcome the Elf on the Shelf into their home, good for you. I lift my hot tea mug to you in admiration of your ability to willingly clean the chocolate syrup, marshmallow fluff, and dog kibble from your home's surfaces with a smile.